Nate8409
10-10-2008, 01:37 PM
Do You Hate Your Children?
December20
“Too many parents today hate their children…” says Elisabeth Elliott in her devotional today. You can read the entire devotional, but it comes down to parents who keep control of their kids love them, but those who let them run wild do not.
There is the issue of the rod in this devotional, and I do believe there are many effective ways to discipline your kids that do not involve spanking. That being said, we do spank. Not beat, or abuse or embarrass to get the desired results just in case you are thinking to call CPS on us. =)
Parenting is hard, no doubt. It’s even harder for someone like me who tends to be a little more lax and go with the flow. Little things generally don’t bother me and I let them slide. I will be the first to admit consistency is not a trait I carry. I forget what I’ve said, or too many times use the “pick your battles” excuse to let those little things go.
However, what has happened over the past several months with a mommy who has that attitude is my children have become defiant in not only the little things but what I consider the big things too. Sassy mouths with ugly tones do not go over well with me and when I get this from my six year old who is normally a pleaser, I knew there was a problem. Frankly, it started with me and now it is up to me to fix it.
I have had to be more cognisant of what our family rules are and stick to what I say NO MATTER WHAT. Because it does matter when you tell a child she can’t have a mint, and half an hour later when she is sneaking one, and you think “pick your battles, does this mint really matter?”
Ummm, YES it does!
For about two weeks I have felt like the meanest mommy ever. I have been completely worn out from teaching and re-teaching the appropriate way to respond to mommy, daddy and adults in general. We’ve been working heavily on first time obedience as well.
I’ve had to spank. I hate spanking. It takes more time than you think so sit and talk about why someone (mostly Mini-T…she’s hard headed not unlike someone else I know) is getting said spanking all the while she is pleading to be spared. I have to remind her life is about choices, even when you are three. Choose wisely my child; choose wisely.
But, yesterday I saw a shimmer of hope. My sometimes moody big kid obeyed all the way, right away and in a happy way…that’s usually the part that gets left out. A child with a smiling “Yes Ma’am” just made my day.
We have a long way to go. It takes a long time to train up a child. Hopefully not a lifetime, but certainly more than two weeks. For all you mommies who are in the trenches, you are not alone in wanting to do the right thing.
The right thing does not include over indulging your kids, letting them pick your battles, and fearing what will happen if you discipline them. I want my kids to know they are loved enough that I care what they turn out like and who they turn into.
December20
“Too many parents today hate their children…” says Elisabeth Elliott in her devotional today. You can read the entire devotional, but it comes down to parents who keep control of their kids love them, but those who let them run wild do not.
There is the issue of the rod in this devotional, and I do believe there are many effective ways to discipline your kids that do not involve spanking. That being said, we do spank. Not beat, or abuse or embarrass to get the desired results just in case you are thinking to call CPS on us. =)
Parenting is hard, no doubt. It’s even harder for someone like me who tends to be a little more lax and go with the flow. Little things generally don’t bother me and I let them slide. I will be the first to admit consistency is not a trait I carry. I forget what I’ve said, or too many times use the “pick your battles” excuse to let those little things go.
However, what has happened over the past several months with a mommy who has that attitude is my children have become defiant in not only the little things but what I consider the big things too. Sassy mouths with ugly tones do not go over well with me and when I get this from my six year old who is normally a pleaser, I knew there was a problem. Frankly, it started with me and now it is up to me to fix it.
I have had to be more cognisant of what our family rules are and stick to what I say NO MATTER WHAT. Because it does matter when you tell a child she can’t have a mint, and half an hour later when she is sneaking one, and you think “pick your battles, does this mint really matter?”
Ummm, YES it does!
For about two weeks I have felt like the meanest mommy ever. I have been completely worn out from teaching and re-teaching the appropriate way to respond to mommy, daddy and adults in general. We’ve been working heavily on first time obedience as well.
I’ve had to spank. I hate spanking. It takes more time than you think so sit and talk about why someone (mostly Mini-T…she’s hard headed not unlike someone else I know) is getting said spanking all the while she is pleading to be spared. I have to remind her life is about choices, even when you are three. Choose wisely my child; choose wisely.
But, yesterday I saw a shimmer of hope. My sometimes moody big kid obeyed all the way, right away and in a happy way…that’s usually the part that gets left out. A child with a smiling “Yes Ma’am” just made my day.
We have a long way to go. It takes a long time to train up a child. Hopefully not a lifetime, but certainly more than two weeks. For all you mommies who are in the trenches, you are not alone in wanting to do the right thing.
The right thing does not include over indulging your kids, letting them pick your battles, and fearing what will happen if you discipline them. I want my kids to know they are loved enough that I care what they turn out like and who they turn into.