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View Full Version : Ack, there's one down in the MPG war...


ValuePack
05-24-2007, 08:37 PM
I drove a new '07 Nissan Versa hatch for giggles today at Team Nissan in Manchester. 6 speed, no options, red on beige, 19 miles on it. I was there to enquire about a seperate, used car, but it was already sold; Eric the Sales Guy suggested the new hatch "for just a few dollars more!" It looked OK from the other end of the parking lot, so I agreed, and he was off to find the keys. Wow, I'd read it was boring, but... this thing was like driving a cadaver. Seating positon was very upright and tall(in a bad way) for a supposedly "sub-compact" car, engine was positively stagnant with the A/C on(wouldn't accellerate uphill under 4500rpm in 4th or higher), gears were spaced like those of a Bonneville Salt Flat racer(4kRPM in 4th(out of 6) at 70mph is NOT acceptable), shifter was so vague that I was constantly starting from a stop in 3rd, and the car is far less attractive than I thought it'd be. Handling was nothing to write home about, with gas-miser Continentals and enough chassis flex in the corners to convince me this body shell was a direct reincarnation of the Titanic, with it's weak, cracking hull... take my word for it, you'll see these ripped in half all over this place once the weather drops below freezing again. And I haven't driven anything with blind spots up front like this since the last time someone suckered me into the captains chair of one of those early '90s Lumina vans; 803 sq. feet of winshield that's all so far away you can't touch it if you've got your seat belt on, and no "10 o' clock" or "2 o' clock" vision whatsoever thanks to 4 inch wide A-pillars that taper to a 10-12 inch base.

I was prepared to be disappointed and unimpressed, as I'm a bit of a douchebag car prude, but this exceeded my every nightmare. Pair this car with that unloveable CVT automatic and I can officially declare it to be Hitler's doppelganger. At least the A/C was cold and Eric the Sales Guy was friendly, though he stopped talking as much after I started gently, verbally ripping the car apart. Poor guy, he didn't need to hear my crap, but I'd been unsuccessfully job hunting in 100 degree weather all day, and he was trying to sell me garbage I can't afford and didn't want; I'd sort of had it. All that being said, I'd still highly recommend the car to my 63yo father for his hideously redundant highway commute to Mass. everday, as that's basically what it's designed for.

Eric the Sales Guy and I drove a loaded, dark blue '05 Civic EX sedan 5 speed afterward... it was also slightly gutless though fun over 5kRPM, and handled about 93 times better than the Versa. Brakes were not as good, as they were shot; braking procedure as follows: 1. Stomp brake pedal 2. Pucker butt cheeks 3. Start praying 4. Roll to a stop. I parked it back at the dealership, where poor Eric the Sales Guy said "Yeah. (looooong pause) I'll get those brakes looked at." I got several of his cards and we went our seperate ways.

EDIT: Now that I've calmed a bit, I should inform you that yes, I do know that the Versa is built stricly for highway gas mileage, trendyness, reliability, and headroom, and as such, it's not supposed to be fun, fast, or outwardly stylish. A car can be boring, slow, and ugly... I've owned lots of the latter, and loved them all for their own reasons. But this car had positively no soul, and in my half-hour drive with it, I connected with it LESS than I have with my 2 year old "body in white" Maytag washing machine. The idea of spending $14,215 on one of these then being expected to say something like "I love my new Versa!" makes me physically ill. I love cheap strippo appliance cars, but this was a whole different animal. Next time I see a iPod-ish Versa commercial where the car is parked with it's doors open in front of a white backdrop while young trendy multicolored folk are blasting the stereo and dancing about, I'm going to fill my bathtub and hold my head underwater until I stop squirming.

If you're shopping for something in this segment, go look to Honda Fit, Scion xA, Toyota Yaris, Hyundai Accent, something else... I've not driven them, though they positively can NOT be as bland and uninspiring as this rolling, future recycling fodder.

Nissan, Honda, Toyota, Subaru: it's time to step up. You CAN make money again by selling small strippo economy cars with positively no options, including no radio or power steering. Why? 'CAUSE I'LL ****ING BUY 'EM ALL! That is, of course, if they still drive like real cars(think B12/13 Sentra, EL52 Tercel, EF Civic, EA81/82 Subaru DL/GL, AE86 Corolla, etc.). It doesn't need to be a racer, it doesn't need to be some trendmobile. Just give it soul, 40mpg, a manual transmission, a tach, and cloth seats... I'll buy 8000 of them, the SCCA will designate a Spec Racer class for them, and the world will go 'round. It's been done a hundred times before, and it's not too much to ask. It *could* be sweet... Kia is closest, with the only mass-produced car available with manual steering left in America(as far as I'm aware), the base Rio.

TrickyDik
05-24-2007, 08:54 PM
Good review, I would like to subscribe to your periodical.

Nate8409
05-24-2007, 11:16 PM
Okay making it simple. I had to drive one for 2 hours on a dealer swap. It was an automatic and not a CVT. Total **** box. I repeat. Total **** box period.

TurboRush
05-25-2007, 07:50 AM
I hate team Nissan.. I went there like 3 years ago and they treated me like I hadn't even graduated HS and I called them out on it to.

ValuePack
05-25-2007, 09:53 AM
I worked at Motostar in Manchester for a million years... the GM of the place(ex- ASE Nissan mechanic of 18 years) bought a new '03 Maxima at Team Nissan, loaded up, and he raked 'em over the coals for an awesome deal(had them install aftermarket leather and a sunroof and still paid ~$4k under sticker) with the understanding that he'd bring the car there for basically any service that needed to be done.

This past annual inspection was fun. He was called at work to inform him of a bad driver's front wheel bearing on his 75k mile car. It was so bad, they said, that the bearing was in pieces, and it's race had welded itself to the hub... as such, they said, it'd need a new hub as well. The price? Over $800 installed. He flipped a **** about how "no way it's that bad, I'm coming down to take a look right now, don't button it up!" Keep in mind, I have never seen a car so impeccably detailed and well maintained as this car... the guy is SUPER anal about that stuff, germaphobe, etc. He showed up having a fit, talked to the service manager, who informed him that they'd made a mistake... it would only be a wheel bearing, sub-$200 installed. He said "fine, do it."

What's better? They failed his inspection for cracked foglight lenses, and wanted over $400 to install new fog ASSEMBLIES. They weren't holed, they were operational, they just had the stereotypical hairline cracks in the lenses. I'm suprised Nissan hasn't engineered a fog light that WON'T crack the second you hit a small puddle with the lights on; it's been a known problem for over a decade. Well, he and his cracked lenses went up the street to Dynatune and passed with flying colors.

Team Nissan is damn shady. I think if I decided I really hated myself and wanted a new Versa or that miniature-Ford-Fusion-lookalike '08 Sentra, I'd just go to Honda Barn Nissan. They've got nearly twice the inventory, and maybe they'd talk me into a cheap Civic instead.

ValuePack
05-25-2007, 02:02 PM
On a sidenote, the rice was out while I was driving these two cars... sightings include:

A Kia Sorrento with 22 inch rims

A rattlecan black Focus sedan with what had to be a six inch exhaust tip

aaaaaand....

A silver late model Cavalier with the Nissan Skyline's

"GT"
R
badge on the back. Eric the Sales Guy had a good laugh about that one.

banned4life
05-30-2007, 06:57 AM
Versa??
http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e277/concreteloop/hrs/episode2_screencap.jpg

ValuePack
05-30-2007, 09:14 AM
LOL, good find.

unsakred
05-30-2007, 09:20 AM
its a veeersaa lol i just watched the finale of that last night... now I have to catch up on my lost lol

LordBass
06-02-2007, 11:08 PM
A Versa hatch with a Renault diesel, Clio/Megane sport suspension and six-speed manual would be something interesting.. The existing 1.8L gasser is uninspiring, and the Versa sedan is ghastly.

Chalk up another good on paper, bad in reality economy car.